Biyur Self

Please tell me I am not alone in thinking that life gets easier the more I convince myself that I am nothing.

PS "Easier" does not necessarily mean "better".

Every year, you hear Rabbis rip drinking on Purim. How its the cause of terrible accidents, a terrible example for children, whatever.

But have they ever thought about the cost of giving up drinking? Seriously, without drinking on Purim, I think hordes of people would simply leave the fold! Drinking on Purim is what keeps us frum!

Maybe we should go on a pro-drinking on Purim campaign...

Can Atheists Have Fear of Heaven?

Although it is an aspiration of mine as a Jew, I'm not really sure if I'll ever understand what the Jewish concept of Yiras Shamayim (Fear of Heaven) is really about. On *extremely* rare moments, perhaps during Neilah on a particularly good Yom Kippur, I've felt emotional trepidation at the thought of being judged by God. A tearful physical shudder at the thought of the standing before the Creator, knowing that my future is at the mercy of this awesome Force that I can't possibly comprehend. When thinking about misfortune that I see around me, I am even more likely to have this reaction. Is this Yiras Shamayim? Or perhaps the baby steps leading up to it?

Regardless of whether or not one believes in God, man must recognize that there is a force greather than himself at play in the cosmos. For the atheist, the forces of nature act at random with no will or intelligence. But the honest atheist will concede that there is a power greater than man, even it is not a cognizant entity. We are at the "mercy", if you will, of the forces of nature. Man can exert control over many aspects of existence, but can never completely protect himself from disease, natural disasters, accidents, violent acts, or the like. Sincerely contemplating the awesome nature of this force (or these forces) and how we may or may not be affected by them in the future can inspire trepidation, regardless if this force is a willful intelligent God or pure chance. I suspect that given an environment and mood that lends itself to contemplating this uncertainty in an emotional way, an atheist could fairly easily come to tears and tremble. So if what I've described above is the beginnings of fear of Heaven, can an atheist have Yiras Shamayim?

Or more likely, what I've described is not at all Yiras Shamayim, rather an inward and selfish fear for my own future, or existential angst that has much more to do with the uncertainty surrounding existence than it does with God. Oh well, I'll just have to keep trying.

Truth?

Why do I care about truth? I mean real truth. Why does it bother me if it doesn't seem to bother anyone else. There must be some psychological explanation for my absurd and obviously pathetic tendency to obsess over what is really true.

Aaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!!!

Closed minded people who refuse to think for themselves make me want to kick and scream!!!

Sorry for this post that is utterly devoid of content, I needed to vent and didn't have any other outlet.

(Note: post has been moderated to remove references to violent acts.)

Books I've taken out of the YU Library (and hope to read at least a part of)

Its good to be near one of the best (Jewish) libraries in the world...

1. Loving Truth and Peace: The Grand Religious Worldview of Rabbi Benzion Uziel, by Rabbi Marc Angel
2. Free Agent Nation: The Future of Working for Yourself , by Daniel Pink
3. Spiritual Boredom: Rediscovering the Wonder of Judaism, by Erica Brown
4. Faith at the Crossroads: A Theological Profile of Religious Zionism, by Dov Schwartz

The Narcissist Generation

Great article in the WSJ last week about how technology (blogs included) fuels the pathetic personal-insecurity-driven-narcissism that prevails today. I agree.

On that note, I'd like to express my sincere appreciation to our readership, yes both of you (myself included), for reading, commenting, and making me feel worthwhile.

As I scrubbed my child's poop off of the side of our bathtub tonight, I had a thought: what an amazing God, who allows us to serve Him even through poop!

I then thought about this story, and danced (after washing my hands) with my daughter (the mastermind behind the poop).

Its good to be a Jew!

Book Club - Take 2

Maybe we can each take one book off the other's list...

I'm halfway through Continuity and Innovation: Esriel Hildesheimer and the Creation of a Modern Jewish Orthodoxy., by David Ellenson. A Conservative Rabbi with great insight into the great Rav Hildesheimer, who totally doesn't get enough props nowadays. Rav Hildesheimer (the other great German rabbi in the 19th century) could learn circles around Rav Hirsch, and without him, we wouldn't be able to say "Wissenshaft de Judentums." [WDJ] And who would want to live in a world without Wissenshaft de Judentums? [By the way - whats the equivalent in TIR to WDJ? A comparative study of the writing of James Taylor and Rabi Eliezer HaKalir?].

I'm also in the midst of Sliding to the Right: The Contest for the Furute of American Jewish Orthodoxy, by Samuel Heilman. You know, the only thing more annoying than whiny MO Jews complaining about how all their kids are flipping out is a whiny MO Jew who writes a supposedly academic book complaining about how MO kids are turning to mindless chareidi orthodoxy. I mean, I agree and all, but stop complaining - do something about it (like making MO Judaism inspiring and meaningful, perhaps?)! I'm told he wrote this book because one of his kids went chareidi - which makes a LOT of sense.

Finally, I'm rereading Tolerance and the Jewish Tradition, by Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo. Its short (more a pamphlet than a book), and I hope to use it for a shiur. Rabbi Lopes rocks, and thats that.

Book Club...

In keeping with a recent suggestion of a fellow contributor that we ought to have a book club, here's what I'm in middle of reading(I tend to read multiple books at a time, over a long period of time):

Masters of the Word: Traditional Jewish Bible Commentary from the First Through Tenth Centuries (Vol. 1) Somewhat of a tedious read for me so far, but very much enjoying. For me this is an introduction to parshanut hamikra, I didn't even know what that really meant until I picked up this book. Concurrently I am listening to a series of lectures by R. Allen Schwartz (downloaded from YUtorah.org) on the same topic.

The Second World War: A Complete History By Sir Martin Gilbert (trudging through this one, very long and detailed, but I want to get through it for many reasons). I'm on a bit of a WWII kick, having recently re-read Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning and an Elie Wiesel book (for the first time).

I recently read, and recommend Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman by Jon Krakauer, but I'm a sucker for anything Krakauer writes. Also in middle of re-reading Into the Wild, by the same author, which I've done before and decided the last time I read it that I should try to read it once a year or so.

Also recently read Dr. Marc Shapiro's Saul Lieberman and the Orthodox, an enlightening read (Thanks to Akiva the sho'el ha'mash'il).